How do I know if I need sex therapy?

Sex therapy is a good place to start if you are looking to address any concerns related to your sexuality or sexual relationship. Your relationship to sex is tantamount to every other domain of your life. At The Essentials, we are sex positive therapists, meaning we will not shame you and we will only suggest sex therapy if you have identified that there is something related to sex in your life that no longer works for you. A Certified Sex Therapist can help you if you are looking to address:

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  • A history of sexual trauma

  • Sexual dysfunction or sexual problems,

  • The quality of your sex life, if you are sexually active,

  • Your sexuality, sexual orientation, or gender identity,

  • Any type of sexual behavior that has negative consequences in your life,

  • Mismatched libidos between you and your partner,

  • Concerns about sexual functioning,

  • Different sexual fantasies and desires within your relationship,

  • Pain during sex, Dyspareunia, Vaginismus, etc.,

  • Erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation (early ejaculation), delayed ejaculation,

  • An inability to orgasm, alone or with a partner,

  • Shame about sex or your sexuality,

  • Oppression related to sex or your sexuality,

  • A desire to try an open relationship, polyamory, BDSM or other kink,

  • Compulsivity related to sex (sex addiction), love (love addiction), or porn (porn addiction), or hypersexuality that has caused a problem in your life,

  • Infidelity and betrayal trauma,

  • Sexual anorexia or avoidance,

  • Performance anxiety.

Have You Come Up Against Obstacles To A Fulfilling Sex Life?

Do you have questions about your sexual identity? Are you looking to explore new erotic or intimate territory with your significant other? Or do you struggle with challenges related to your sexual health?


You may be experiencing doubts, questions, or limitations when it comes to your sexual identity. Perhaps you and your partner have differing wants and needs in the bedroom. Or maybe you’re curious about opening your relationship up and becoming polyamorous. 

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It’s possible that your sexual functioning has changed over time, and you are now struggling with aspects of anxiety and grief when it comes to performing. Maybe a medical issue has caused a decrease in your desire, or perhaps you struggle with vaginismus (vaginal pain during sexual intercourse) or erectile dysfunction. If this is the case, you may become stressed or worried about the idea of being intimate, disappointed that sex is no longer as enjoyable or comfortable as it once was. 

When drive and desire between partners differ, it can create tension in the relationship. It’s entirely possible that you and your partner no longer experience the same passion and satisfaction as you once did. And as a result, you may be looking for support in navigating a path forward. 

At The Essentials, you can work with a sex therapist who will honor your unique needs and desires within the relationship. And whether you identify as gay or straight, monogamous or poly, trans or cis, white or Person of Color (POC), therapy can help you identify and reach your goals for your sex life.

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Sex Therapy Gives You A Chance To Better Understand Yourself And Your Body

Like most of us, you may have developed negative associations with your body and sexuality throughout your adulthood. Yet sex therapy can normalize your experience and give you the necessary tools for overcoming obstacles to your passion, intimacy, and sexual fulfillment. And if you struggle with medical issues, including vaginismus or erectile dysfunction, counseling can help you to better understand what you need in order to feel satisfied on your sexual journey.  


At The Essentials, we see both individuals and couples for sex counseling. Beginning with a brief consultation, we will work to determine the presenting issues in your sex life and match you with the therapist that is best suited to help you overcome challenges. As we go through the intake process (spanning over a few sessions), your therapist will be able to develop a treatment plan geared toward your needs as an individual or couple.

Throughout your time in sex therapy, you will be invited to delve into your history as a sexual being. This includes examining the possible trauma and grief that have impacted your relationship with yourself and your body. And whether you’re participating as an individual or a couple, counseling provides a great opportunity to learn more about how your and your partner’s desires were shaped and the kinds of challenges that you both may face when it comes to issues of sexual intimacy. 

Moreover, your therapist will work with you to help you unlearn the negative or counterproductive education you’ve received when it comes to understanding your body. In doing so, therapy can help you develop a critical awareness of the emotional aspects of intimacy, as well as the tools for processing the relational, psychosexual, and mental elements of your sexuality. 

With the right support, it’s possible to have a satisfying and pleasurable sex life. No matter if your intimacy issues stem from physical discomfort, emotional distress, or cultural limitations, with therapy at The Essentials you can achieve a more satisfying and intimate sex life.